Faux Santa

By Nancy A. Cavanaugh

“Try this one,” suggested Mrs. Claus as she held up another suit.

“Ugh,” Santa replied. “Damn PETA! Threatening to protest at all mall Santas if I don’t stop wearing real fur!”

“They’re good people.”

“Bah humbug. Santa in faux fur! Ridiculous! Maybe a faux Santa should deliver the gifts!”

A few weeks later …

Santa spent Christmas Eve in Hawaii as a faux Santa in a faux fur suit delivered the presents. He drank pina coladas, following the journey on the Santa tracker site.

As he staggered to bed, he exclaimed, “Merry Christmas to all and to PETA, bite me!”

© 2008 by Nancy A. Cavanaugh